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There are barracuda and crabs that I can see from my small saltwater dock, huge silvery tarpon, slow gray manatees, and a gigantic old lobster that lives underneath a few sunken wooden slats where the dock caved in after a hurricane.There are nurse sharks, and peregrine falcons, and black cormorants, and iguanas, and scorpions galore. I eat flower salad on the daily (made entirely of edible flowers), with fresh coconut or lime or banana or tropical cherries I planted myself in the yard.My immunologist informed me there is no cure, and not a single approved treatment. Fast forward five years later, and I lost my career (and with it my healthcare), my longtime relationship, most of those loyal friendships, and the majority of my muscle mass. The majority of my days were spent bedridden, with too much brain inflammation and intense flu-like symptoms to notice the passage of time.I was sent home, my significant other rolling my wheelchair out of the office with heavy feet that echoed into the stunned silence. But I knew, however slowly or quickly it moved, I didn’t have much of it left.But for the blessed high-speed internet that has recently been piped through, I would never see representations of any people I relate to.There are lots of birds and fish to talk to, and a few old timers in town with whom I have absolutely nothing in common and don’t feel particularly comfortable being out to.I chose to spend what days I had left enjoying the sunset over the water, and growing most of my own food and medicine in a real yard, in a small town just on the southern outskirts of the enormous preserve. Instead, toiling under the feverish sun and swarms of mosquitoes in gray clouds against the sky, I flourished.

Two hours later I was writhing on the floor of my apartment, moaning and delirious, where my significant other apparently found me.

Once in a while, I miss the wild parties and endless happenings of the rich bi and lesbian community from whence I came.

I very much miss the diversity of skin colors and hair styles and perspectives. In my dreams, I find a woman who isn’t bothered by the illness, who wants to come live in this luxurious wilderness with me.

This incredibly beautiful place, but I must love all on my own.

Every year on my birthday, in my old life, I would call my friends and we would traipse through the city streets to an eclectic restaurant.

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