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(When you’re a black woman in your 40s, why do all your matches look like George Jefferson?

) Hoffman says the algorithm, like a boyfriend, can’t read my mind; I need to message and “like” guys I find appealing if I want to start seeing similar people in my results.

Married daters are more common than we’d like to think, says dating coach Laurel House, host of the podcast The Man Whisperer.

Her tip: “A little pre-date due diligence is smart.

These days, however, the New York Times Vows section—famous for its meet-cute stories of the blissfully betrothed—is full of couples who trumpet the love they found through Ok Cupid or Tinder.

Today an estimated one-third of marrying couples in the U. met online, and as many as 15 percent of American adults have used dating sites or apps.

Once upon a time, internet dating was a vaguely embarrassing pursuit.

If they're older/paunchier/have more neck bolts than he does in the photos, choose compassion, says New York dating coach Connell Barrett.

For the others, we do one of me outside in a green dress, one where I’m wearing something sparkly, and another where I’m standing on an escalator.

This doesn’t reveal much about me besides my aversion to stairs, but it’s a full body shot, which Hoffman recommends.

“He probably lied because it’s a sore spot.” Just have one polite drink. You may wind up charmed—and it’s the human thing to do.

One reason I’ve been passive about online dating: Most of the guys have been a little conservative for my taste.

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