Dating your ex spouse ex spouse
These two letters illustrate the anguish of someone who is torn between wanting her family made whole, and wanting to save the rest of her life from what could be a hopeless marriage.
And they give me an opportunity to address a very common dilemma. I had been married for 14 years until my divorce was final last month, but I still feel SO married. My husband first left 5 years into our marriage and moved in with another woman, right after I had my first child.
On the one hand, he is the Giver, who never wants to hurt you, always wants to meet your needs, wants to keep his family together, and is ashamed by his past misbehavior.
This is the side of him that you know loves you and that you want desperately.
Can they do something to break out of their self-made prison, and escape to a normal life?I feel like such a fool when most everyone (including family) says, "Why are you even entertaining the thought of putting yourself back into a situation that you are going to be hurt again? " Well, I do feel pretty stupid sometimes but I can not help having this idealistic goal for my marriage. My goal in life is to save all marriages, and none of them are easy.My question is----- Have you ever seen anything this "twisted" repaired? But the one you describe is one of the most difficult.After 3 months he wanted to move back home and I agreed---actually was thrilled to death to keep my marriage and family together.My friends and family had a much more difficult time dealing with this than I. Then, 4 years later, he moved out again and starting seeing another woman. It was a very nasty divorce that included too many friends and family (and self-serving attorneys).