Dating people at work bad idea
If they're common and happen in your workplace all the time, great. If the rumor mill goes into high gear, that might be the right time. Tyler and I had been dating for almost four years before we started working together (which, by the way, wasn't planned … But for about 11 months, we sat three cubes apart from one another and kept our relationship under wraps. Before you risk hurting your reputation at work, find out if this person is someone you'd want to spend weekends with. Even if there are no explicit policies against it, find out how upper management feels about office romances. Dating your boss or your direct report can be particularly dangerous for a variety of reasons. People either don't care, will think it's obnoxious or inappropriate, or will get jealous. Once you have a sense that this might have a future, talk to your partner and decide how and when you want to disclose your relationships to your colleagues."Add to that two lovers fighting over doing dishes in the next cube and you have one unhappy coworker, who you may catch sauntering to HR." Also, it's entirely unprofessional to complain about your personal relationships at work, whether you're dating a colleague or not. So while it may be tempting, stop yourself before you get yourself into trouble. Don't get caught up in long conversations, two-hour lunches, IMing, or emailing with your partner when you should be working on projects or preparing for meetings. "Since the sensitivities of the workforce are varied and subjective, there's always a risk of offending someone.One complaint to HR for PDA, showing preferential treatment, or using words of endearment in public will at the very least trigger an investigation." 13. "Be careful what you text or email to each other, not just because Steve in accounting might fall off his chair when he mistakenly receives it — but also because it could ultimately be used as evidence in a legal case in termination or sexual harassment," she warns. Don't talk about work at home This one is more for the well-being of your relationship.If nobody seems to notice, there's no reason to share. "What will be your plan 'B' if the heat is on from a supervisor, from gossip, or if things go awry? "No one wants to hear about how deeply you're in love with each other or where you went last weekend or the fight you had in the car this morning," she explains. Again — nobody wants or needs to know about what's happening with your love life. What happens at home or in your personal life (no matter who you're dating) almost always affects your attitude, which affects your work — it's just a fact of life. The same way you shouldn't let disagreements with your partner affect the decisions you make or how your treat others at work — you can't let your adoration for them drive your decisions, either."Save it for your family or friends outside work." Talking about the relationship can be distracting or make colleagues feel uncomfortable, so don't do it. "It's hard enough today to concentrate with open office spaces, a plethora of technology devices, frantic deadlines, multiple bosses, and so on," says Taylor. But try your hardest not to let your disagreements with your partner affect the decisions you make or how your treat others at work. It's unfair and unethical to give your significant other's work more attention and to make decisions that ultimately benefit them. "Spend your time as if you are not dating this person," advises Taylor. "Employees are generally encouraged to report incidents of sexual harassment or events that create a hostile work environment," says Taylor.
"A word to the wise: If you take the leap, go into it with your eyes wide open," Taylor concludes.Since you're in the same office, you know all the same people and may even be working on similar projects — so it's easy to go home and talk about those people or those projects. As a relationship becomes more serious, oftentimes one person will decide to leave the employer completely, because the more involved you are, the greater likelihood of the relationship interfering with your job."That's why so many companies have policies against nepotism, which applies to married couples and relatives," says Taylor.If nobody seems to notice, there's no reason to share. You and your new partner need to agree on some ground rules and come up with a plan for how you will keep it professional and stay within written or unwritten rules. "You may have the burden of overcompensating with professionalism and keeping an artificial distance, which can be an awkward strain," says Taylor."What will be your plan 'B' if the heat is on from a supervisor, from gossip, or if things go awry? "Better to overcompensate than to constantly test the limits of workplace etiquette while hoping for the best." Be sensitive and respectful to others.