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For all of our theological maturity, we still expect that marriage to a beautiful virgin is our entitled reward for not having sex in high school.

I am convinced that many Christian young man have not fully shaken off this terrible theology.

Even for those of us young men who have come to understand the staggering reality of the gospel, and what it means for “purity”—namely, that “not having sex” is a pitiful substitute for “purity” when we consider the actual purity of Jesus’ imputed righteousness—we still find the expectations of our pimply-17-year-old-selves hard to shake.

The masterminds of our youth camps often recognized this problem—that is, the problem that such a fragile definition of “purity” will leave young men and women who have had sex in despair—so they came up with one of the most bizarre solutions imaginable: “second virginity.” Rather than changing the definition of “pure” to reflect biblical teachings of sin, atonement, and imputed righteousness, these geniuses changed the definition of “virgin” so they could hold on to their terrible axiom! Except, it isn’t, because as long as you define “purity” as “virginity,” stretch marks and a baby will always brandish many young women as second-tier Christians who are at the very least less pure, no matter how many pamphlets you produce that smack of “second virginity.” Many of us who were the pimply 17 year-olds at youth camp have grown out of this kind of silliness in recent years.

We can laugh about the absurd analogies we were saturated in and the antics that pervaded the whole movement—we all remember our unvarnished pennies, rubber bands, nails, buttons, true love waits rings, and of course, the rose, right?

If you can keep yourself “pure” through your teen years, fellas, you are entitled to a beautiful young virgin, who will address all your sexually frustrated woes with endless sex all your days.

Just hang in there a bit longer—until you get to a Cristian College!

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