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Given that I’m busy and that it’s so popular, I decided to give the world of online dating another go, but this time, with some professional assistance.My previously terrible experience with a dating coach showed me how important it is to get a good one, so I enlisted the help of NYC’s top matchmaker: Sameera Sullivan.“Everyone thinks the grass is greener on the other side, and that there will always be another option around the corner.” As a result, people have unrealistic expectations, and if they aren’t completely blown away by someone on a first date, they will write them off in favor of going out with a new person, thereby throwing themselves into an endless cycle of first dates.I know someone who went wasn’t into the guy at first and, by the seventh date, she really clicked with him,” she said. We live in a society where people are so easy to say no to.The elite matchmaker, who runs the service Lasting Connections, predominantly works with high-profile clients for a hefty price tag—her services start at ,000 for a year of in-depth coaching that includes everything from running your dating profile to choosing your wardrobe.But you get what you pay for and her success rate is one to be envied.And it’s normalized some truly terrible behavior, like ghosting, orbiting and breadcrumbing, turning people into disposable objects.

It also feeds into the paradox of choice: the seemingly bottomless array of options offered up by online dating makes people less likely to make any decisions at all.

She’s not a fan of Bumble, which she believes “makes men passive and lazy when they were already passive to begin with.” Sameera’s older clients have had more luck with online dating sites rather than apps, in part because there’s a wider selection of people above a certain age.

They’ve had particularly good success with Match.com, which has been around since 1995.

” Ask about something that intrigues you in their profile. Don’t ask about their dog if you hate dogs, or what books they like to read if you don’t care about books.

You’re looking for something you can connect on, not just a way to get in the door.

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