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When you carefully observe your own patterns and tendencies, you can decide if there are any steps in your dance that can change. Again, you do not have control over all of your children’s choices, but you can help influence their decisions.

If your teen insists on going out and returning at three in the morning, you cannot lock her in her room every night just because you’d like to.

You don’t want him fighting for his autonomy by doing the exact opposite of what you’d like him to do.When you’re calmer, you will be able to think more effectively about the best way to guide and lead—and not control—your adolescent.Guiding and leading requires you to change your behaviors as a parent instead of trying to get your adolescent to change his.You can’t control her without hurting your relationship.But you can tell her this: “If you return after your curfew, there will be a consequence.

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